Boundaries in the Family

 

    A key aspect of family is the boundaries that are formed. Boundaries in the family includes the openness, communication, and connections between the individuals in the family as well as the subgroups (groups like the parents and the children). There are three different types of boundaries in the family: Rigid, poor, and clear. 

    Rigid boundaries (also called closed or impermeable boundaries) are considered to be boundaries with little to no exchange between individuals and subgroups. It is easiest to imaging this boundary as a steel wall with barbed wire over the top of it. If you were to see this wall around somebody's home, you would not be very likely to pursue communication or a relationship with this person. In families, rigid boundaries can cause many difficulties and problems. First, children are unlikely to go to their parents or even each other in times of confusion, difficulty, or struggle. Secondly, the parents are unlikely to show as much emotion with their children as well as each other. Overall, relationships are weak, and very hesitant in families with rigid boundaries. 

    Poor boundaries (also called diffuse, very open, or overly open boundaries) are almost the exact opposite from rigid boundaries. Because it is the opposite of rigid boundaries, it is easiest to imagine this kind of boundary as a home without any fencing, with walking paths all over the lawn. Poor boundaries, similar to rigid boundaries are not very healthy in the family. Poor boundaries would mean too much communication between parties in the family. For example, parents could share their economic, word, and social problems with their children. At first glance this does not seem like an unhealthy situation, but if parents do this, they bring stress to the children that they do not need. Not only do the children feel stressed, but they begin to feel responsible for the problems and may try to work and solve them. Through poor boundaries, relationships between family members may be weak, break easily, and chaotic. 

    Clear boundaries (also called permeable boundaries) are a delicate mix between both rigid and poor boundaries. The best kind of imagery for this kind of boundary may be a home with a short, picket fence, and a clear walking path to the front door. The fence may discourage some types of entry (like over the fence) but supports entry through certain areas (like a front gate). In the family, clear boundaries are very vital. Clear boundaries in the family mean clear communications, emotional openness, and reliance. When a family has clear boundaries, relationships between the individuals in the family tend to be strong, reliant, and trustful. Clear boundaries create reinforcements in the family and support the already existing roles that I family would have. These roles typically include just parents and siblings. 

    Overall, it is important for the family to form boundaries in order to function the best that it can. Boundaries form healthy growing and learning environments for the children and create a steady partnership between the parents or caretakers in the family. In a family with unique situations such as Autism, it is vital that the members form strong, yet permeable boundaries in order to support each other and work through their difficulties as a team. Boundaries are like support beams in a building. They separate different floors and rooms yet leave areas that connect between those rooms and floors. Boundaries, like support beams, allow the building to grow and change without collapsing. And most importantly, each building needs a different system of support beams to allow it to continue to stand. Each family has different boundaries that are best for them. Overall, clear boundaries are vital to the functionality and structure of the family.